Yindaba kabani uba'ndilahlumlenze?

This contemporary music video is by South African artist Thandiswa Mazwai. It's titled "lahlu'lenze" which can be translated as "throw your leg up". The song basically says "whose issue is it if I throw my leg up and be myself?". Thandiswa Mazwai is a modern Xhosa woman who through music explores many issues around culture and the way in which live through culture.   The differnt cultural expressions that are demostrated in the video are also very interesting in that she has taken women from different walks of life and made a relevant statement about woman as a whole.

Conclusion

What I've come to lean the most out of the intervention is how grateful we should be to be able to be our own selves, to be individuals in a world where so many people are being silently stripped of their ability to be who they want to be. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying ukuhlonipha is wrong or right, I'm just saying that as a practice, it's just too clear as to what the intentions of it are. It is done to decrease attractiveness. Cultures and races all over the world have some form of rule or hold of women. It is done, I've come to learn because of man's fear of the power of a woman's beauty and how that power makes the man loose control. Beauty is known to make men weak. That's one of the many reasons men cheat, due to lack of self control.

Is the way a woman looks used to help men curb their own feelings and thoughts that may make them look weak and uncontrollable? It has been said that woman have so much power but they do not realise it. The day that they do, the world's ideologies, beliefs and perceptions of woman will seem ireleveant and worthless.

The Body Uncomfortable project had really taught me alot about the way in which I see myself and how others see me. I can not judge those who do not know any better but to conform to their practices, I can only shed light to those who do not know that practices such as these exist.

Day 10 - Imini yesishumi

Today is the last day and I must say, I'm extremely relieved and proud of myself. That I actually stuck it out till the very end. Today I actually forgot that it's actually the last day of the intervention so I'm not as exited as I thought I would be. As I walked to school today, I stopped and looked at all the women who are'nt doing this to be uncomfortable for 10 days, they do for a living. It is who they are. I respect them so much for that!  It's been real

Day 9 - Imini yesithoba

Today is the second last day. Today is the second last day. I feel like I'm holding on for dear life! I can not wait to express myself again through my clothes. It really is frustrating. It feels like I have been silenced. This morning when I opened my closet, I just stared at my clothes with such lust and longing, longing to feel good again. That's what clothing is about right? I just want this day to end already. On the other side, I've gotten used to myself looking the way I look. Even though I feel terrible, I'm getting used to the way I look. This really does change one's mind and the way in which you look at yourself.

Second last day, my smile can not possibly be more fake then this.

The borrowed skirt.  Wearing it for the last time.

Day 8 - Imini yesibozo

Monday morning and I'm feeling fresh and enthaustatic because Wednesday is getting nearer! I have a lot to do today but I won't let the skirt get in my way ( I step on the skirt quite often ). It turns out to be quite a normal day with just my one friend from school stating how she really misses me. I told her that I have'nt gone anywhere, but clearly she felt as though I was no longer who she had gotten used to. This is exactly the kind of reactions that make interventions like this one worthwhile. Thanks Naja!

Day 7 - Imini yesixenxe

Today I went to a friend's place for Sunday lunch. It was great being with them because they understand exactly what I'm doing and where I'm coming from with it. This is'nt because we're all from the Eastern Cape or anything (giggle). So we sat around and shared our personal stories and expriences of watching our mothers, grandmothers, aunts and sisters practising "ukuhlonipha". We realised how many similarilties there was in our expriences. We all had sat on the bed as our mothers covered themselves up before our grandmother came or we all had rushed to get the head wrap when the in-laws arrived at home unexpectedly. Talking to my friends made me realise how important it is as the decedants of the Xhosa people to still understand and acknowledge the liittle things that Xhosa people still do, centuries later. Being around my friends the entire day made me feel comfortable and it made me realise that what I am currently doing is important, not just to me, but to other people as well. Great Sunday spent talking about where we come from!

The Past and the Present

Over time the way in which Xhosa women dress has changed but what has remained is how women have rmantained the respectful and humble look. Bourdieu (1984) observed that the body is used as a bearer of status, of power and of distinctive symbolic forms that are critical to the acquisition of resources. I believe that this is extremely true in that when a women was dressed in a respectful manner (practising ukuhlonipha), it was after she got married, thus changing her status as an individual. She was now expected to use her body to bear this status "upgrade" by dressing differently to the way she used to dress as an unmarried girl. As seen below, Xhosa women dressed in this way every day of their lives, this was before modernisation and the wearing of western clothing. In modern times, a majority of women only dress this way on special occasions and depending on how traditional and cultural a backround they come from.



Xhosa women dressed in traditional attire smoking pipes known as Inqawe in Xhosa. This is how Xhosa women used to dress originally. Everyday, not just ocassionally.



Image sourced from Google Images. Keyword : Traditional Xhosa women 

http://gtpculturesoftheworld.pbworks.com/f/CW2+Xhosa1.jpg

A modern Xhosa woman who has adapted ukuhlonipha (giving respect through the way in which you are dressed) to western clothing

Image taken by me

Day 6 - Imini yesithandathu

Today I knew I would cheat. It's a Saturday and it is EXTREMELY hot. Usually Saturday's are my days to relax and cool down after a hectic week. I can't exactly put my feet up comfortably wearing  a long heavy skirt. So I wore track suit pants all day. I feel terrible but I had to. Luckly I stayed at res all day. Strangely the people I live with noticed and started asking me where my head wrap and skirt is. Why am I not wearing them. That made me happy in that I now know that people are behind what I'm doing and they understand the importance of what I am doing. That made me smile.

Traditional xhosa singing by women in a Khayelitsha household

What I've come to notice about the black people of South Africa, no matter where they go or are placed be it in the city, in townships etc, they take what ever rituals, singing and beliefs they have, with them. That I believe is extremely special and interesting. It's interesting to see how rituals and customs are taken from rural homelands and made to work and adapt in urbanised settings.

This is a video on You Tube of traditionally dressed women singing traditional songs in a home in Khayelitsha. Songs are usually sang for any occasion, whether it be just a large gathering of people or traditional ceremonies like weddings, initiation ceremonies etc. It's visible in the video that all the women have their head's covered and are not wearing clothes that are revealing.

Day 5- Imini yesihlanu

Today I woke up longing for the me I knew, the me who gets up in the morning and puts together something I've never seen before, and so that's what I did. With the skirt I lent I put together something I'd wear even if I was not currently in the process of an intervention. I could count that as cheating because that certainly does'nt make me feel as uncomfortable as I should be feeling. So I tackled the day lightly and with ease and slowly started to get used to the new me. I'm starting to get used to it and it's freaking me out. I'm starting to think of how I could have possibly worn such short shorts just a few days ago, what was I thinking?

But then I snapped back to reality and realised I am born of another time, another mindset, that does'nt see anything wrong with wearing short shorts when it's hot. That's just it, it is hot, why on earth would one wear anything but short shorts? I think I know the answer to that. Oppression, power and control. In the reading Gender Rouble by Judith Butler, Butler can be quoted as saying : "The notion of a universal patriarchy has been widely criticized in recent years for its failure to account for the workings of gender oppression in the concrete cultural contexts in which it exists. Where those various contexts have been consulted within such theories, it has been to find "examples" or "illustrations" of a universal principle that is asumed from the start. That form of feminist theorizing has come under criticism for its efforts to colonize and appropriate non-Western cultures to support highly Western notions of oppression". This part of the reading is directly related to the intervention as a whole. Should African cultures and customs now change because of Western notions of oppression. When African cultures practice customs such as ukuhlonipha, I do not necessarilly believe it was done with the intention to oppress women. By having women covered up and humble, I do however believe that it helped keep man at ease about the thoughts going through another men's heads whether he were around or not.

We went for drinks at Neighbourhood today and I got a few comments on the way I was dressed. Most people I saw told me how I had the ability to wear anything and still make it look good. When will my intervention step away from being a fashion choice! Neighbourhood was great, it's a pretty up-beat contemporary watering hole, so I think it was a great place to observe peoples reactions to me. If they could see me.

Day 4 continued

It's funny how I did not feel as "beautiful" as usual during the intervetion. It may be because my perception of my own beauty is not how I am looking right now. Feelings of unattractiveness have surfaced within me. The "beauty myth" (Naomi Wolf 1990), which is found in the reading "The Body in Consumer Culture" by Alexandra Howson,  is described as the institutionalisation of the male gaze. Wolf states that the myth has three consequnces on women, the first being the constant monitoring and repairing required by the pursuit of beauty diverts women's energy and saps their confidence. The second being, the pursuit of beauty becomes a currency for women and increases competition between them. Moreover, visual apprearances that confrom to ideals and norms of beauty provide access to public life, and women seen to avoid or fail to achieve beauty standards exprience overt and covert froms of discrimination. Thirdly, the current emphasis on beauty is a form of backlash against women's economic and political gains in the post-war period.

I found the Beauty Myth extremely relevant to how I have been feeling. Because I do not get the usual whistles and the male gaze I used to get when I dressed normally, I do not feel beautiful anymore. I constantly monitir the way I am looking lately because I know that it can not possibly be good enough simply because I do not feel as though I am myself anymore.

Found a very interesting blog, Maundering mutterer. Extremely relevant to what this intervention is largely about.

Visit http://maunderingmutterer.blogspot.com/2011/01/clothes-and-xhosa.html

Day 4 - Imini yesine

After an interesting day yesterday, I hope all the days to follow will be as interesting. Today a friend kindly lent me two beautiful long skirts that I think I can work around. Had she not done that, I don't know what I wouldve done. Today I don't have class, but I would've had Creative Development. We were told to use the time to dwell in our intervention. Today is going to be weird. A special someone is coming to visit today. He knows about the project, I needed his motivation! I hope he does'nt think I look like a mhamha! hahaha, but he's extremely open-minded and open to social experiments like this one. He actually said he would'nt talk to me when he got here, if I was'nt wearing my head wrap and long skirt (hahaha, what a trooper!)

I love the skirt, it's so beauitiful and oriental!

Day 3 - Imini yesithathu

Today I wore what I wore on the first day. I think I'll have to chop and change like that. I woke up feeling unmotivated to get dressed and head to the outside world. This got me thinking as to how greatful we as the children of another time, to have been born into a different mindset. Remember, the society in which you occupy determines the way in which your mind thinks and processes what it belives to be normal and abnormal. I'm so greatful to have been born and brought up with that different mindset and being given the opportunity to express myself in which ever way I wish. Whether it be through clothing, music, writing, whichever. I'm just feeling really greatful today.

It's funny how everyday is so different. Everyday I feel different. Every day I make a new realisation and conclusion. Today I feel better. My skirt and head wrap seem to be working well together. I leave res with much more confidence in me. I'm starting to look at myself as someone's wife. What if I was? What if I married into a family that took the practice of ukuhlonipha( giving respect to your in-laws and husband) very seriously? Would I not marry him because of that? These are very difficult questions to answer and predict, but they are realistic questions that I might have to answer one day.

As I navigate throught the city through Greenpoint, I keep noticing more and more women dressed in this manner. I see an older woman dressed in a black skirt, jersey, head wrap and stockings. Her case is different. When a woman is dressed in all black like that, she is indicating that she is a widow and she is in her mourning period (which lasts about 6 months to a year, imagine!). In the past, older woman were usually seen dressed in this particular manner simiply because in the past, people didnt die as young as they do now. So I guess things have changed.

I arrive at school feeling the way I have been feeling when I've been at school during this intervention, comfortable, and fogeting that I'm not looking the way I normally do. Today is really a much better day. At the end of the day, I go back home and just before supper I bump into a friend of mine and she shouts "X! what's up with you looking like a nanny lately?!". Knowing her,I know she does'nt mean it in any disrespectful way, but I act like I'm hurt by her remark on my new way of dress. She then realises that this is a bit more serious than she thought. She asks me why I've been dressing the way I am, then I hestitantly tell her, after she begged me to tell her, that I am getting married off. She was hysterical! She didn't believe me at first but started to believe me because I looked her straight in the eyes and told her that I'm getting married off!

As the evening progressed, she kept asking me if I'm joking, I kept telling her I was'nt. Then she asked me why my parents were doing this to me, why would they invest in my education, send me to varsity, provide me with a comfortable life and then just one day decide to marry me off? It was soo much fun watching her get so worked up! I told her that my parents had to do it because it was a good tie of families. His family and my family would be lucrative for one another. Hahahahaha! You should have seen her face! She then asked me when I'm getting married, and I told her Easter weekend and then she asked how I'm going to study in Cape Town and still be married to some man?  Then I could'nt watch her loose her cool so much, so I started laughing, then she realised I was lying! I told I was dressed the way I was cause my aunt was getting married in April, not me. Hahahaha, that was fun though. And to think she believed me. Shame! She kept saying, are'nt your parents modernised? I thought that only happened to people who lived in the townships? Hahahaah..

(After supper today, I saw the kitchen safe at our res, she shouted to me, "wow! you look like a Makoti! " which means you look like someone's daughter in-law) hahahah.. what a day. Turned out to be very interesting!

Day 2- Imini yesibini

Today I realised how I may be running out of long skirts to wear. I used to use clothing as a form of expression. Every morning I get up I get excited to open my closet and put together something different, but this week I've been really put to the test. I've started to realise that this was the best intervention that I could have choosen for myself. Not only is it allowing me to start realising things about myself, but it is also allowing me to understand the many different ideas around looking respectful and giving respect. Not to say I was looking disrespectful before by wearing shorts and dresses but as compared to how I've been looking for the past two days, it's quite a change. As I looked at myself in the mirror this morning, I slowly started to feel as though I'm loosing myself (yes, I know it sounds dramatic, but I really did).

As I walked out of my res, I passed one of the lady's who clean our res. She realised that I was dressed as I was the day before, in a long skirt and a head wrap. At that moment, I think she realised that maybe it wasnt a choice of style of fashion that I was wearing the day before. This was for real! As usual I took a taxi to CBD Cape Town and as the taxi sped through the streets, I started noticing how many woman actually dress the way I am dressed. Usually they look normal to me, but today, it's different, I can't help but take a closer look at the person that lies behind the clothing.

I hop of the taxi to catch another one to Greenpoint and something feels very strange, something is missing. I realise that my morning is no longer as filled with whistles and howls from men (who don't have manners, why do they do that?) as it used to. Their perception and view of me has been changed by the way I look. Firstly, my legs are'nt showing,my chest is completly covered up and my hair is hidden underneath the head wrap. Hair has such a big influence on how the face looks, I do believe that men are more attracted to women with long flowing hair ( that is how they grew up to view a female, with longer hair than their own) so when I have no hair showing at all, it completely changes the way my face looks. Their perception and view of me is also now based on a lot of assumption, apon seeing me dressed the way I am, they could be assuming that I am married. When a women is married, it takes away the "right" for another man to even look at her, it's as though the woman is taken and is no longer avaiable to be looked at, whistled and howled at (thank goodness!).

Peoples reactions are usually made up of trying to link my face to the conservative look I'm carring by being dressed the way I am. At school my school mates are usually like "wow, you look so cool, you should dress like that all the time!", I don't know whether to me offended or not. Today it's extremely hot and having the head wrap on is extremly uncomfortable, it keeps loosening itslef and I have to keep tightening it. Not cool. The long dress Im wering is literally sticking to my legs (how do they do this?).

As the day progresses, it turns out to be the WORST day ever! I end up having an arguement with a taxi money collector who obviously would'nt be as confident in the way he was taling to be had I been dressed in a different way. In the taxi, I see a guy I'm family friend's with,he does'nt seem to be shocked at all to see me the way I'm dressed, but I guess he's open minded like that. In the taxi there were these girls who looked like they were straight out of a magazine. They looked sureal. not to say I wanted to look and feel as good as they must have been, but they seemed to not even notice me. Which is ok, it just says alot about what perceptions people can make from the way that you are dressed.

Having had such a tough day, I saw the need to express myself in a different way other than through clothing, so I went to the gym to go express myself through gym machinery! what a great decision, came back with itchy hair but feeling normal again.

yiFashion to be a "soul sista"?

After democracy in South Africa, many young people (particularly black) felt the need to be as culturally expressive and represenatative as they could be. This was probably due to the fact that now as black South African's we had the platform to be as culturally expressive as we could be. Yes, the black of South Africa were culturally expressive before but I do think it was a bit more genuine than how the young people of South Africa choose to do it after democracy. Suthukazi Arosi, Busi Mhlongo, Brenda Fassie and Miriam Makeba are to name a few,the people who I believe were not just icons of music and performance but icons of the culture of South African people.

The young and beautiful Miriam Makeba dressed in traditional attire.

Image sourced from Google Images. Keyword : young Miriam Makeba
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgBd6bPUqnO-gflMkqX46af842WiGDPi9hHrtMb183-geQqoEzYZ2V0MvZVlX8r9DHdS3BvgQntAG87FRV3IKRGfdCfUgXug7ghtaAuTTDU7wTiI-brUvStJ3pVag0xVza8J-uibISX6x4/s400/Makeba.jpg

The late Busi Mhlongo.

Image sourced from Google Images. Keyword : Busi Mhlongo
http://whatsonsa.co.za/news/images/stories/Festivals/Playhouse%20SA%20Womens%20Art/Busi%20Mhlongo.JPG

Suthukazi Arosi

Image sourced from Google Images. Keyword : Suthukazi Arosi
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikuCOxf9dBaGuD2urTXduE1GIrvC3dp0WoRPQdZkJBDuJIX98HSAqW7FP0UmVq_SPepfDM3M2GTWntElcRoIxY12iwHtY3XsLEk9St3nu6rPYu4Mtk7JBq2k-x8mzhIz5OuRb-mvTC1Af-/s1600/suthu1.jpg


The late Brenda Fassie

Image sourced from Google Images. Keyword : Brenda Fassie

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimQj6tr9sY0Io1ca0-CzTOJzhD51v4XzhJ7sR6DXPEvl-q5MsuK-oTGD4_b38yycAHQgpAUzqo2Sa0WL_VUF0Lv7jbYAeiiTzGHG8721BfchNqkO6jgY-Vv02ToY6rS-c3lzI3eIlHAs4_/s1600/brenda-fassie.jpg

After these beautiful iconic women, came a generation that wanted to be heard in a different way, they were'nt trying to let the world know of the suffering that was taking place in South Africa like those who cam before them wer doing for the past 50 years, they were celebrating their ethnicity and being proud of it because they now could. Thandiswa Mazwai and more recently Simphiwe Dana , Camagwini and Lira are to name a few, examples of these young people. You may be wondering what this has to do with the practice of ukuhlonipha (giving respect).I believe the practice of ukuhlonipha (giving respect) evolved and become the look for "soulful and deep" people. Even though they are not the same (in that "soulful" people do show their arms and they walk barefooted), they have many clear similarities. Growing up I came across many of these young people. It looked cool but as I grew to see more extreme cases, I began to question their reasons behind the way they choose to look and live all of a sudden. Let me make an example, for the first + - 19 years of an individuals life, you go to a model C school, live in suburbia, dress like a "normal" kid and then one day, you decide to stop wearing shoes, stop sleeping on your bed and opt for the floor on a grass mat and shave all your hair off in an effort to "find yourself". It is not wrong to grow up and make realisations about yourself, however, how genuine you are and the reasons as to why you are doing something should always be clear not only to others but to yourself.

All of the above are of the beautiful and extremely culturally inclined musician Thandiswa Mazwai.

Image sourced from Google Images. Keyword : Thandiswa Mazwai
http://www.africanvoices.co.za/culture/BongoMaffin.jpg
http://www.bbc.co.uk/africabeyond/media/17783/12534_Thandiswa-Mazwai-101.jpg
http://preditor.mio.co.za/assets/articles/images/resized/09235_resized_thandiswa1.png

The graceful Simphiwe Dana.

Image sourced from Google images. Keyword : Simphiwe Dana
http://www.jamati.com/online/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/simphiwedana1.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/Simphiwe_Dana_Wien2007aa.jpg

New comer, Camagwini.

Image sourced from Google images. Keyword :Camagwini
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC_-UGlNiuZRI2ws40RtgHG_MQ-OJBGeg6L60LSAmMK2qSjr2LH4ArFOBdQiVTwOvq9YEGPOS0iC0KBX4xsCuZJJqlvR4G_pnkQ4K8bsj3cJC4pMV1bTF5Ixh45z_OMoLCNpYuul8TJvi1/s320/camagwini.jpg

It was normal for many young people to be feeling this way, I mean many of them had been the first bunch of black South Africans to be allowed to go to Model C schools and live in the city, so confusion was inevitable, but the rate that this movement spread was quite alarming. I'm not saying it was wrong, but the reasons as to why most individuals did it was to be perceived as being a "deep person who knows where they come from", I believe that was wrong as in many cases it was not true.

It's great to be show pride in one's culture, but to go to extremes of not wearing shoes and sleeping on the floor next to your bed just because you feel that that will make you feel closer to your ancestors who are the reason you are alive, is wrong and completely misunderstood.

I hope since then the young people of South Africa have matured and have come to find a perfect (ok, not perfect but clear) understanding of how to bridge a gap between the two world's. We are not a confused generation, but we are a generation with a lot to work with, which I believe is such a blessing.

Day 1- Imini yokuqhala

So I wore a head scarf and a long skirt today. It's funny how life changed from the moment I put them on. I personally felt extremely self conscious and kept adjusting my doek to look as presentable as possible. Remember, the world I live in is an extremely different one to the world that accepts and understands the meaning behind ukuhlonipha (giving respect) and where it originates from. So me delving into this historic yet over time changing practice, says a lot about where I'm from, what I consider as normal and where I'll be one day.

In the mirror I saw a young black Xhosa woman doing something before it's time. I started to think about how one day when I get married, whether it be to a Xhosa, Zulu, Sesotho or any indigenous South African ethic group guy, this is what I'll have to do. Maybe not all the time, but when it is necessary ie. when visiting his traditional homestead (which are usually in the rural areas of our country). We must not forget that before urbanisation, the black people of South Africa lived in the "homelands" and seeing woman looking respectful traditional garmets was how t was meant to be. But with  urbanisation came the need for these garmets to become a bit more practical for the city life (hence the German print/ shweshwe print) became an expression of traditional clothing in a more modernised way.

My head is so scratchy already. Did you know that woman actually suffer from hair loss due to wearing head scrafs all the time? One's hair doesn't get to breathe. I've seen it!

It's not that the practice was introduced to make women feel and look unattractive, but it was rather a way to show how their role had switched from being a girl to being a wife, mother and daughter-in-law. It's a way of saying "she is taken" in a wordless manner. I must say it made me feel very unattractive and frumpy. Cape Town is extremely hot and my shorts would have made my day, but unfortunately, I had to look past that and acknowledge and accept what I choose to look into for 10 days.

I left res with a fake swag in my step, trying to look as though I was looking the way I looked for style reasons, but I quickly got snapped back to reality when I began to see many women dressed just as I was in the streets of Cape Town CBD. Initially, the intervention only meant that I would wear a head scarf for the 10 days, but I realised that there was more to the intervention than just covering my hair. This topic, I personally believe is made up of so many issues and discourses that I don't even have to research it in order to explain,discuss and learn to understand it simply because I've been surrounded by it my entire life.

A woman in Adderley Street, just as uMakoti. It was extremly difficult to take a picture of her. She could ubfortunately see I was looking at her.

Older woman dressed in a respectful manner. Once a woman gets married, also depending on the time they got married (so anytime before the 90's), dressing this way and never showing their heads becomes a part of their lives, even when their husband's have passed on.

uMakoti

Growing up I'd always watch my mom get ready for our monthly visit to our traditional home in the village of Fort Malan, deep in the Transkei. She'd stylishly wrap the German (Shweshwe) print cloth around her head, wear a long matching skirt, a long sleeved shirt and a checked small blanket around her waist. I would feel so sorry for her as she had to transform herself from being a modern career woman, mother and wife to being an overly respectful and traditional looking woman.

The funny thing is, she seemed to not mind it. For her I believe it created balance. Seeing those two different worlds and being able to successfully merge them made her feel strong and grounded. I also believe she loved it because she loved my father. One becomes a Makoti when they get married. Makoti being the wife of the son of a homestead. So when one gets married, they know they will be becoming a Makoti, whether it be in the Sesotho, Tswana, Xhosa, Ndebele or Zulu culture.

Strangely, this is also mirrored in more Western cultures. When the in-laws come to visit or when a girlfriend is being introduced to the boyfriend's family for the first time, the girlfriend tries by all means to look respectful and put together. Maybe we as man kind are more similar than we think?

So initially  for 10 days I wanted to wear a head wrap and skirt. But I realised that that could be just mistaken as a choice of fashion. Which is not what I wanted the project to be about. So I decided to take it to the next level by bringing in the sense of respect and humility that comes with being a Makoti. I will try and practice what I have seen my mother, grandmother, aunts and female cousins that are married practise all my life. I don't know of my own tomorrow, maybe it will be me in a few years.