It's funny how I did not feel as "beautiful" as usual during the intervetion. It may be because my perception of my own beauty is not how I am looking right now. Feelings of unattractiveness have surfaced within me. The "beauty myth" (Naomi Wolf 1990), which is found in the reading "The Body in Consumer Culture" by Alexandra Howson, is described as the institutionalisation of the male gaze. Wolf states that the myth has three consequnces on women, the first being the constant monitoring and repairing required by the pursuit of beauty diverts women's energy and saps their confidence. The second being, the pursuit of beauty becomes a currency for women and increases competition between them. Moreover, visual apprearances that confrom to ideals and norms of beauty provide access to public life, and women seen to avoid or fail to achieve beauty standards exprience overt and covert froms of discrimination. Thirdly, the current emphasis on beauty is a form of backlash against women's economic and political gains in the post-war period.
I found the Beauty Myth extremely relevant to how I have been feeling. Because I do not get the usual whistles and the male gaze I used to get when I dressed normally, I do not feel beautiful anymore. I constantly monitir the way I am looking lately because I know that it can not possibly be good enough simply because I do not feel as though I am myself anymore.
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